Bottled up inside are the words I never said, the feelings that I hide, the lines you've never read.

It's been a really long time since I posted about something other then my daily routine. I decided to dedicate this post to one of my bestest friends. You're like my sister from another mother and it kills me to see whats happening to you now. And also to all those who loves someone that doesn't love them back.

Do you know what's like to love someone so much that it kills you? But knowing that that person doesn't give a sh*t about you. While you're constantly thinking about him, he's probably hanging around with his friends laughing or chasing after some random chic. You fall asleep crying every night while he falls asleep exhausted after partying the night away. Yeah I know what that feels like. It's shitty honestly. But some people just don't understand. Just move on. Thats what everyone loves to say. If only it were that simple won't this world be a much happier place.

I'm not saying that you should give up hanging on to that person nor am I saying to let go. All I'm saying is that if he is worth it, he wouldn't be doing this to you. You deserve better. But I guess none of that will change the love you have for him. The things we do for love. Haha. But I guess it will never be enough for that person.

Wanna know something else? No matter how mad or pissed you are at that person, you'll never wish something bad upon that person. Cause seeing him in pain, hurts you. You would rather be the one to bear the pain than let karma bite the person. And when you see those really sweet couples together, you picture yourself with that person eventhough you know it would never be possible. Sometimes it's like you literally tell that person “Hey here's my heart, go ahead and break it into a million pieces”.

Sounds really pathetic right? I know. But guess what I was that person once too. Not too long ago to. And you know what it didn't work out in the end. He's still the one that got away. He's the one that hurt me but I still waited. Begging to hear him say I love you just once. I had 26 days with him but it felt like 26 minutes. Between our first kiss and the moment we broke up. We tried again but it still didn't work. Cause it was always gonna be one way. It was always gonna me chasing and working everything out while he just f*cked around.

But I've come a long way from where I was. And I guess I wouldn't be so thankful if he hadn't treated me that way. I don't think I'm ready to face him yet though. I don't think I ever will. But here's to the future. May we find someone who loves us as much as we love them :)