Maybe I didn't think carefully before I answered last night. I mean after the phone call, I thought real hard "about my entire existence". Haha. Till 2 in the morning mind you. I just let my mind drift off. Let my imagination go totally wild. But no matter how wild it went I couldn't picture myself with him anymore. All I got were flashbacks. Memories. Maybe for that brief moment when you asked me, my answer was him but now that I actually thought about it, I can't see myself with him. Not in the future. Ever.
I loved him. That's a fact I can never deny. But the thing is he changed. And I loved the old him. The one that I could talk to till way pass midnight. Not the douchebag that lied to me and broke all his promises. That was the new and improved version. The exact opposite of what I loved about him.
You asked me to choose between the both of them if HR wrote the same letter that yours did. The thing is I can never picture him writing the same thing. Him writing that would never happen. Not even in my wildest dreams. And even if he did write it, it would be full of lies and empty promises. But with NSI I can picture that. Maybe not as sweet as yours but almost there. Sometimes I wish I had met him before HR. Would have spared me all the heartache. But then again, I might not appreciate him as much as I do now. I love him. More that I ever imagined possible. And calling him my boyfriend is something I just can't wait to do eventhough I'm so freaking scared to get into a relationship again.
By the way, about me having issues. The only reason I would have issues is if I lose him ;)
Peace out xD
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