I'm officially missing you.

I waited. The whole of today. It’s weird. I never wanted commitment. I deny the fact that we are more than friends. But still I waited. I want something that I can’t have again. I know you think it’s gonna work but it’s gonna take a whole lot of other things to happen for me to ever have any hope that it will last. I’m hoping for the best but at the same time I’m not hoping at all. I just don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t want to feel again. I don’t want to wake up everyday with the fear that it’ll all be over. I want to cry but the tears are just not coming. I’ve switched off and I don’t know what will ever make me feel again. I don’t know what’s worst, feeling or not feeling at all.