I'm so happy. Hehe. We lepak-ed together for the first time today at the hospital. I didn't care about the place as long as I got to just spend time with him. It was awkward I guess but it's the first time so I didn't expect it to be perfect. I didn't talk much. I know that a miracle right? Haha. I just felt so nervous and there were butterflies in my stomach. I felt like I could stare at him the whole day. I just can't explain how I feel right now. Today was just totally unexplainable. And mean it in a good way. It was innocent and sweet. It was everything I hoped for and more. And when we hugged, I really didn't want to let him go.
But there was one part that kinda freaked me out. I mean not freaked me out but just like scared me a lil. He was talking to me about getting my license and stuff and then he said that it would be easier to lepak next year. I know I should be happy but I'm scared. I hate planning for the future honestly. Cause it's like every time I use to plan, something would go wrong and everything just shatters. Planning never got me anywhere so I just stopped. I want to be happy but it's like I don't know. I don't want to disappoint or hurt him.
I'm just so screwed up. Haha. The only thing I'm sure of right now is that I'm falling for him. And I don't want to lose him.