Monday, 25 June 2012

No matter where life takes you, never forget where you came from.

Yes I love you. You're my mum but sometimes it's like all you wanna do is hurt me. I don't get it. No actually you don't get it. You don't know what it's like to be me. Stop comparing yourself to me. You father died. Mine is still very alive. And I'm not gonna live with regrets if something happens to him. I'm letting go cause I just find it stupid to hold on to my ego when it comes to family matters. I don't want to live with regrets. I regret not picking up my phone 3 years ago. Maybe if I did things would have turned out differently. But that does not give you the right to keep pestering me.

No matter what you say, they're still my family. A big part of me. I know they were not there for me but so what. Now things are different. Can't you just be happy for me??? They don't judge me by my skin tone or my size. I never had a chance to be close to them but now that I do, you wanna take that away from me??? Hasn't enough been taken away???

Do you ever hear me complaining about not having a normal family life??? No you don't. I've excepted that our family is different. That we can't all be under the same roof. I see my friends and their families and it kills me honestly. I want that. But do I complain? No cause I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But guess what? I'm hurting. I still cry myself to sleep. But you don't realise that. You just think I'm so happy with life. Well try walking in my shoes for just 5 minutes, maybe then you'll feel the pain.

I know I'm never gonna be good enough for you. I know you want a daughter that hates her father. I'm sorry I can't be that daughter. I'm sorry I can't be that skinny, daddy-hating, fair skined b*tch daughter that you want me to be.

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