I always wondered how old do we get before out actions stop falling back on our parents. I mean as a kid growing up, my parents use to always tell me to be on my best behaviour cause whatever I do reflects on them. I remember hearing that until my teen years. But when does it stop honestly?
It's so normal to see society blaming the parents. And I really feel so sad when I hear all these accusations cause most parents try their best to bring up their children in the best manner possible. Yes I will agree there are also parents who just spoil their children and let them behave in whateve manner suits them but those are just the minority. I would personally say that my parents did the best they could especially my mother but I choose to rebel and act out on them. My parents guided me towards the right path but I chose to take my own path and that is obviously not their fault. They wanted to give me a chance to grow and make my own mistakes.
I remember back when I was in school and we had to write essays for Bahasa Melayu and one of the points in the essays about current issues would be parents. It's like we're made to think that it's the parents fault when actually it was the child's choice. Parents may advise their children but they can't hold them at gun point to not do something that's wrong. But then again children may say that the parents influence them to do something wrong. I disagree 100%. I grew up with a father who smokes a minimum of one box of cigarettes a day. My parents use to take me to pubs since I was in diapers. Have I smoked a cigarette in my life? No. Do I drink? Occasionally. But I only started when I was 18. I'm not saying what my parents did was right. What I'm trying to say is they showed me all the wrongs but they advised to not do it. Cause no one can advise you better than a person who has been throuigh something.
Another thing that also struck was teen pregnancy. When the teenager gets pregnant and the way society goes on and on about her parents. I honestly respect parents who help their daughter through her pregnancy. For me, that's an example of good parents. Not parents who make you get an abortion. You think you're saving your child's reputation by doing so? More like starting a nightmare. And it's not just teen pregnancy, there's drug addicts and other issues. Parents are supposed to be there for their children especially during their trying times not just tell them “I told you not to do it, now it's your mess”.
I'm not trying to say that what parents do don't play a role in how a child reacts to certain things. I'm just trying to say that we should stop making every mistake a child does reflect on their parents. And to all those parents who have been through a lot of struggles and have made it through, I say brava. You all are the perfect examples of what parents should be like. And I would like to personally thank my parents for everything they have done for me and shaping me into the person I am today :)