Monday, 30 April 2012

Love is like a a joke. Sometimes it's fun but sometimes it hurts.

He texted me this morning. Haha. He gives me more reasons to smile everyday. I wish I could hug him and never let go. I'm trying so hard to control my feelings but it's like fireworks. Just exploding without my permission. Gosh, I just don't want to get hurt again. I know he won't hurt me but still. I've got to be cautious. And to be truthful I'm scared. What if he is the one? I have so much planned for myself. If I do get into a relationship, I'll have to consider that persons feelings in whatever choices I make and I don't want to. I want to be selfish when it comes to my dreams. I don't want to have regrets. I already regret making so many decisions. I don't want to make anymore mistakes. But I like him. And I think I'm falling for him in a way that I never thought was possible after what that douchebag did to me.

Anyway, I found out something yesterday. And it totally took me by surprise. I mean I expected that person to probably like throw my present into the bin after what I did to him but instead he carries it around with him. It's so weird but yet sweet in a way I guess. I feel really bad. I hurt him. He totally didn't deserve it but he still wants to be able to talk to me and carries the one present I gave him around with him. And even the last time we met up, he was so nice to me. He carried my bag and stuff. It hurts to see what I did to him. But I can't change my pass. I can't redo what has already been done. I'll just hope for the best. Hope that he finds a girl that'll treat him right :)

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